Sacré-Coeur - Paris

It’s been a long and tiring day.
The heat is baking and we are at the top on the steps leading up to the Sacré-Coeur.

I would like to blame the tiredness on walking up all those hundreds of steps. But we cheated and took the lift.

Three of us are sitting on the steps outside the Sacré-Coeur. Waiting for the others to come out of the church. We have managed to find a spot that isn’t too hot and that is in the shade.

There is a beautiful view from here.
Being so high up,
Over looking Paris.

I look down at the steps, and remember that part of Amelie is filmed here. The part where she leaves a note for the guy whose book she has.

I love that film.
The little things she does,
The little nice things.

I open my bag and take out a card.
I feel slightly nervous as there are so many people around.
But I look around and see that everyone seems so busy, no one is paying any attention to me. I shouldn’t worry so much.

I slip it into a little gap between the metals on the handrail, just before the entrance to the church.

Flight from Liverpool to Charles De Gaulle

We are sitting on the plane in Liverpool airport. We have been sitting here for an hour and a half and still haven’t taken off. Some problem with the airport in Paris.

I have been reading.
But feel like a break from my book.
I search through my bag for my discman.
As I do, I come across my box of cards.
I take them both out.

My sister is sitting on one side of me, and a French lady on the other side. I had been speaking to her earlier so I don’t feel too self-conscious about it. She isn’t looking anyway. Her eyes are closed. So it’s ok.

I pick out a card and place it in the pocket in front of my seat. It falls straight out through the gaps. I am glad the French woman’s eyes are closed. This would have just drawn more attention to myself and I would have started to get nervous about it.

I pick the card up and this time place it inside the safety booklet that is in the pocket.

I take out another card.
Slightly open my seat table.
Slide the card in.
And close it again.

I look over at the French lady. Her eyes are now open, but she is looking out of the window. I don’t think she saw me.

Though it shouldn’t matter if she did.
I don’t know why but it seems to make me nervous if strangers see what I am up to.
I know it shouldn’t.

I’ve been naughty again.
I haven’t kept this up like I promised.

It’s because its summer, and I’ve moved back home and have lots of things to do,
No excuse, but now I’ve set up my computer back at home, maybe now I will keep up.

Am off to gay Paris tomorrow for my cousin’s hen night,
So you I won’t be keeping up till I get back…
Will be back on Monday…
Don’t miss me too much

I tried to draw the Eiffel tower….
But I’m rubbish
I couldn’t do it

Chester Walls

It’s a warm summer evening. I love it when the weather is like this. It doesn’t get dark until late, and when it does, it seems to get dark slowly as the air starts to cool down.

It’s always strange being home from university:

People have moved on,
Our paths have drifted apart,
They barely cross anymore.

It sometimes feels quite lonely.

I feel restless – I want to be outside enjoying the summer evenings.

My brother decides he wants to go free running.
I jump at the chance, to get out of the house, although I know it will mean lots of traipsing around where he wants to go.
Maybe I’ll get some decent photos though.

So I grab my camera and my box of cards off we go.

I go outside and breathe in the fresh air and feel it circulate around my body. Replacing the humid, warm air of a hot, stuffy day.

My brother picks his best spots.
And I stand around while he looks around planning his jumps.

I take one of my stickers out of my box and put it on the lamppost. I don’t often like to leave the stickers, as it’s not the same as finding a card. But I think tonight it will just be the stickers, as I never leave them. They never get chosen, so I feel like I leave them out.

My brother has planned his jump.
He calls me over to watch.
I get my camera, and take a few photographs as he repeats his jumps in different ways.

_________________________________


Town Centre – Chester

He has exhausted that spot.

He moves on.
Away from the walls.
Down some back streets,

I follow.

We walk past The Gateway where we both used to attend the youth theatre. Just opposite it is the alleyway where the professional free runners jumped when they came to Chester.
Daniel studies the jump. Wishing that he could do it. But he sticks to smaller ones.

Here I leave two stickers:

One I leave on a railing by the entrance to the car park.

Nearby there is some stencil graffiti of a gas mask. I take a photo of it. Daniel notices and tells me it is Adam’s.

The other I put on a lamppost.
I can see the remains of where a previous sticker had been placed.
Now all washed and peeled away,
Only the white mark left.
I place the sticker of the top of this.

_____________________________


Commerce House – Chester

Commerce house – the memories return.

This is where I used to come when I was younger.
Every single weekend and after school when I could.
We would all congregate here.

It had lots of steps and slopes, which the skaters and bladers loved. Perfect for practising new
tricks.

Now they have fenced it all off.
And tried to remove anything that could have been used for tricks.
To keep the youth away I suppose.

It was a disused building then.
I don’t know if it still is,

I put a sticker on the lamppost:
‘Never forget you’re free’

Felt bad for not writing,
For ignoring you…
Walking past you quickly and jumping into bed
Pretending I had forgotten about you…

…I’m sorry.

Now it’s room time
I bought a box today,
It’s grey and simple. I love it

-my box, although this makes it look like a safe. Which it is not! -

I hoped it will solve all my problems (yes all of them…every single one). Though in reality I know it will only solve one…
The mess that is my room –
At least it’s a start

Telephone Wire

I feel naughty because I didn’t write yesterday. And I promised myself I’d write something every day even if it’s only a sentence. I am typing with one hand as well which is really annoying. Went to Alton towers yesterday, went on the rapids, but they beat me up. I now have a bruised leg and a bruised and cut elbow. Means I can’t move it too much which makes things difficult.

On the way home I saw the ‘hug a human’ guy.
Every time I see him I want to run up to him and give him a hug.

But I didn’t.

For one, I probably physically couldn’t because of my elbow.
And two, I worry he’d think I was a weirdo,
He doesn’t know me and I don’t know him.

I don’t know why I get this compulsion to hug him, I just do.

Hug a Human Badge

Never let me draw you.

I discovered that my 'little something to brighten up my day' wasn't numbered. I went and got another one today. It was # 96. I told James. He asked me to bring my unnumbered one back because he'd obviously messed up somewhere. I said I would. But now I'm not too sure that I want to. I quite like that it was forgotten and missed out. That it isn't numbered. That it still has the potential to be any number.

I worry that he may take it away from me and brand it with a number...
...then it will be like all the others...

...maybe I should tell him my fears...

___________________________________________


Today I bought a little notebook with a brown cover and cream kind of pages, maybe it's more of an off white. It even has a red ribbon page marker, I'm not sure whether I like the red, but it may come in useful. I like my new book. It feels small and precious. I'm scared that I will ruin it when I make my mark.

Sat here and all have to write on are these scraps.
I thought it would be busier here.
But it's surprisingly quiet.

Every now and then there is a short burst of people passing through.
Which lets me know a train has just gotten in.
That along with the man who makes announcements that are not always right.
He has to keep correcting himself.

It's surprisingly clean too.
Speckled cream shinny floors.

A mix of people.

A flash,
Then a girl and her boyfriend step out of the photo booth.
They both stand close as they wait for their photos.
She touches her hair.
They laugh together when they see the photographs.
Then she puts them safely in her purse.

An elegant woman in a long black coat,
Puts on her white gloves.
She waits with the bags as her husband pays the parking ticket.

An old man sits at the cafe.
He wears glasses and reads a magazine.
He puts it down to pick up a tissue.
Wiping the crumbs off his jacket before he goes back to reading.
He's been there for a while.
-Almost for as long as I have.

I like to watch these people.
To wonder about their lives.
Where they are coming from?
Where they are going to.
What they are waiting for.
I am intrigued
And it passes my time.

I wonder about the man making the announcements.
He has a lot to make.
It's been the same man for the last 51minutes.
The same voice, becoming familiar.
I wonder if he enjoys his job.

Flat, black, pointy shoes - they pass me twice.
Brown trainer-like boots.
Black, matte men's shoes.
Red heels, the tops of which are hidden by trousers.
White trainers white 3/4 black stripes.
Grey-Brown skater trainers.

It's not often I notice at people's shoes.

I am walking home one evening.
It's late, it's dark and it's not a safe area.

I see a young boy infront of me.
He pauses to think...
He doesn't seem to know where he is going.
He changes direction...

He passes me and asks if I have a pen.
- I don't.
He then asks if I want to buy I phone.
-I say no.

He talks quietly,
Looking down at the ground.
He looks kind of lost.
Not like the kids that normally hang out here.

He starts to walk away.
I stop him and ask if he's okay.
-He says yes.
Then walks away.
I know he's not.

Today I see a missing poster in a shop..
...it's him...